Saturday, July 12, 2008

East Coast


I love love love seeing my family, and I hate hate hate New England. Aside from clam digging, great pizza, and homemade pasta (and canolis and tiramisu and...)I could do without visiting this area. Sure, it is beautiful, classy, and has great beaches lined with seashells and light houses. Its ALSO the "east coast". I don't even like Florida, aside from the Keys, which to me might as well be the Gulf and Caribbean! The fact is, I was born in Seattle and was forced to live in Connecticut. Mom, you might be hurt by this, but don't take it personally. You are great- the million other people that live here are blah (and you know this!). If it wasn't for my family, I would never come out here. Granted- I am going to have a great time with everyone, and am so excited about horseback riding, visiting my fam, shopping in NYC, eating real Italian food, and spending time with my mom and sister- however- I have to eat next to loud new yorkers (that like to hear themselves talk), sit on the train next to people hacking their lungs up (its JULY), listen to the word "cawfee" (from everyone- it makes me wince) and tell the same story about how my life is in California 1,000 times to each person I see cuz we can't just all get together at once.

OH, did I forget to mention my aunt's bff? Yup- she tried to hook me up with her son (who lives in Irvine and is a reggae dj- something i should like) and can't understand why things didn't work out! Well, for one, I was hanging out with Faisal the same time this other guy (aka OG) was calling me. Two, he is shy and anti social. Three, he is not an active person, and four, there was just nothing there. Well, bff seems to think that since I am single- AND, coincidently, OG is out here visiting as well, that we can all get together for lunch and watch the magic happen. GAG! No, thank goodness I am only going to be in CT for one night- and there is no room in my 16 or so expendable hours to hang with bff and OG. I'd rather, oh, see like my entire family and old friends and old coworkers and maybe the beach? Looking for sea glass and digging clams sounds way more fun!

I think all this bitterness is a defense mechanism guarding me against a place that pretty much hurt every day I lived here. It could have just been the struggles of being a teenager, the rude and judgmental people, the 300 square miles or so of N.E.'s that could just use some yoga or breathing exercises, or being as far away from my dad in this country as possible that brings it out. Whatever it is, its not the healthiest? I am going to do some asanas, pray, and look forward to the amazing time spent with my family over this next week. I have learned to block the rest out and just enjoy my time- since I'm the one who moves around, and not anyone else. Plus, I know there's gems out here that I rediscover every time I visit. I think thats God's way of reminding me that its ok, and I secretly do like coming back. ah! I really am spoiled and ungrateful a lot of the time, but come on....I can't always be perfect, right? uhh...yeah. Just pray for my sanity on this trip, and that I don't terrorize my fam with all my angst :p

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great blog!

It's deep and personal and kinda serious, but it's still pretty funny. =) You're such a great writer.

I can't wait to talk to you later today!

Angie Funches said...

Jen you are amazing. Dont let the past ruin what God has in store for you during this trip. We learned in church today to forgive and I would like to share that with you. Forgive the past and embrace the now. Enjoy the time with your family as we are not promised tomorrow. Go to the beach and take a nice pic of the sunrise and post it for all of us that are not blessed with the chance to see this beauty. And next time you go to NE INVITE ME!! :-)

Anonymous said...

jen enjoy the world you dont have to live every where you go just enjoy the moments and make great memories, I am glad you get to decide what you love and hate, it makes us who we are and that is special. you are special and i love you no matter where you live and i enjoy sharing your world and life. thanks for coming to mine.