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My good friend was watching parents explain to their toddler where Guam is on the globe. "Guam is over here, by Japan..."

What?! We're by JAPAN?

Yep. We are. We're by Papua New Guinea, Malaysia, Australia, Korea... that's where I LIVE.

Two semesters down, and almost a full year here, I'm now left to my own devices (for the most part.)

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm . . . lonely. I can't believe that I feel this way. I've lived so far from my family for so long, and I've made amazing friends out here, but as I think back to California I realize that it took me about 6 years to make some of my closest friends. Half the time I didn't even know Christ. I've been on Guam for >1 year and I have Christ, and close friends, but I'm trying to make sense of it all. I'm still coming out of shock from what I've experienced, learned, grown in, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I don't miss the drama of so. Cal. I don't miss not feeling good enough for my environment. I don't miss knowing that I should be somewhere else but not knowing where. I like being where I'm supposed to be, but, now that the waters have calmed, I am learning to find myself.

It's hard. I don't recommend it. And, after these few months of figuring that mess out, I'll most likely be back in the states for about a month. Just thinking about it makes me feel crazy.

I stumbled upon Hebrews 6:19-20, which says "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf."

 

I have so much hope in what God will do with me that I often find myself at peace in the midst of uncertainty. He has always provided for me, and continues to provide. I am blessed beyond belief, but I still struggle in my direction. Tonight, I took a long walk on the beach-fronts of Hotel Row with two good friends. The sunset at low tide, silhouettes of rowing teams on the textured ocean of hot pink, purple, blue, and then gray,  allowed for me a moment to welcome myself to a whole new world, just as I did when I arrived here. I'm ready to be introduced to the next part, whatever that may be.