winter blues

This morning, fall and winter (as they are one season in s. cal) happened. I woke up early, unable to sleep, and looked out the window. I brushed up against it and felt a chill. The parking lot of my building was dark and wet, and it was only 7 a.m.

The day is promising rain, and I half expected the lot to be flooded (rain, what's that!) in anticipation of this new season.

Dark and wet was fine with me.


I dragged myself to the bathroom where I popped some allergy medicine and irrigated my sinuses. Actually, since I did that last night, I could breathe this morning. But- this is my winter habit- so I did it again.

I then brought laundry into my closet to put away and noticed my winter boots. I thought they would be nice to wear to my climbing session this morning. Wait, I can't climb in those! They'd look so cute with my jeans and new sweatshirt and fall bag though!

Ugh- ok- maybe flip flops, or vans, for another day or so.

My tea pot is going-

iTunes has picked out some depressing Irish folk music and Tori Amos (seriously, winter depression?)

I have a strange craving for hot cocoa, and an ever stranger craving for nothing else. Maybe soup, but other than that- no food is coming into my system.



Are we that closely related to a brown bear, or even a house cat? I notice that the winter brings my cat to eat less, shed less, and cuddle with me more. Whether its our simple need for body heat, comfort in an uncomfortable season, or to just use our fat storage, I can clearly see winter patterns. I have been praying for this all summer, yet, a short wave of depression came over me this morning upon finally receiving.

maybe southern California is not for me

I used to think that Southern California was the best thing ever- until recently, when I realized that the way I thought from 18-24 has changed significantly. Granted, there are some amazing things out here to see and do, and for people who love the summer, this place can't be beat! I, however, think that the extreme heat makes me lethargic. I am not a fun person during the day and out in the sun. Plus, I don't sweat! That makes a day at the beach fantastic- I'd suffocate in my own skin!

Well, that's a lie...I did start sweating recently- on my face of all places. Damn that amazing Clinique 3 step system- that makes my skin amazing! Well- the price you have to pay for not wanting to wear make up.....anyway....Aside from the days that I go visit my friend in San Diego, or my Dad up north, I really don't know if I want to be here anymore. Maybe Oregon would be great, or Montana. The nicest people I have EVER met are people from the Midwest! Yeah, but I'm not moving out that far...I need to be near some coast and major airport. There's too much competition and too many people looking for stuff that they won't be finding.

I want a simpler life, with cheap rent, great guys, and a good church. Maybe I will uproot what I like about this area and start a colony somewhere in Montana. Yep...sounds like a plan. As for now, I'm going to go turn up my A/C and avoid the freeways.