growth.

I would be lying if I didn't say I was struggling in almost every area of my life right now. At the beginning of the semester, I knew it was going to be difficult for me. I knew I would grow so much and that it would be a painful process, but nonetheless God's been using everything in my life. One of the things I'm learning about is culture. What is Christ's culture? What are the strongholds in our own culture that keep us from seeing His culture. What are the issues in my own life that keep me from being the way He wants me to be?

One of the things I've dealt with this year regards "English" culture. I used to be so judgmental of people's grammar, the way they write, the slang they use. Even though there are some things that still do bother me, I often wonder about what bother's God. The Bible tells us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God." I believe that we fall short in our community when we don't take the opportunities to come alongside of our peers and help them in their education, especially in lines of encouragement. I know that I especially fall short when it comes to doing my work for His glory. I'd rather be doing something else. Even in my teaching, I often wonder about how I fall short with my students. I am upset with the ways a lot of their school systems fell short with them. I can't do anything about that now, but I want to make the most of it now.

This Post Secret is something I might have agreed with a few years ago, but now, I couldn't. I want so badly to know what my students are saying, to concentrate on their thoughts, and let the mechanics of it come in second (even though, academically, it has to be a close second). Can I constantly give my best even when I feel completely discouraged like this professor?



There are other things, too.  My family, my friends, the people I interact with daily, my bills, my tithing, the way I drive, how I talk to people and whether or not I look after people? Even right now, I'm supposed to be stopping by my little girl (the one I tutor)'s science fair...and I'm not even dressed yet. I have so much on my plate, but that's my fault. When I feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and frustrated with my transgressions, I am completely undermining what Christ did when He died on the cross for me, and even then I am upset with myself for not being more faithful and trusting. Why the cycle sometimes? How do I break through all of this and be at my best even when my world is in disarray? I think I need prayer, and I need to pray.