Remembering my Grandpa

This past summer, I lost my grandfather. It was in the midst of a lot of difficult little things in Guam and I  couldn't fly back for the funeral. I was hoping he would live well into his 6 month expectancy so that I could see him when I was going back the next month, but he passed about two weeks after he was diagnosed. Maybe it was longer. Time is a more difficult concept out here.

My grandpa is my dad's father. They were so close. I have great memories of my grandfather and my dad together, and it makes me think about what I would do if I lost one of my own parents. This was my first close loss, and I don't really know think I handled it. Found out via Skype...was unwillingly counseled... cried...then had a glass of Cab with some McDonalds. A glass of wine is what I do with my family, and it was enjoyed in honor or memory of him (good advice that came out of the uninvited counseling).

Anyway, I remember my grandpa from my childhood. He always had red delicious apples hanging in a basket in the garage of their home in Connecticut. He taught me a few Polish words (all I really remember is my last name and "little table"). He was always into computers, even had an iPod years before me. He was an exec for GE and I found a signed note with a picture from the recent George Bush in his home office. Who was my this man?? I don't know about his work life or successes, even though through overheard testimony he had a successful worklife, but I do know that his smile would be the reason I'd want to spend time with him. My grandpa was never tired of learning or trying new things, though he did it with wisdom. He took classes on Apple computers. He once found a recipe for potato latkes in the newspaper and was making them when I stopped by unannounced. I know that he twisted copper wire into beautiful trees that he fastened to large stones. I have one now. 

It is hard being far away from loved ones, especially knowing they aren't doing so well. I'm not going to pretend otherwise.  I do know, however, that my grandpa believed and I will see him in heaven. I have that assurance. I pray my family has that peace as well. Even though we're all so far apart, there will be one day where we will never feel that again. That's part of my assurance too. I love being where God has me, and know that He will redeem the loss and suffering I feel as I focus on him. It's ok to miss my grandpa, and its ok to look back on experiences and regrets (of course we have them..not spending enough time, etc). Those things will be used for good eventually. I have a joy in knowing that even though I didn't get to say goodbye, I will just wait years before saying hello again.