I came in to find...

my two students from one of my classes laying on the floor. "It's cooler down here"- yeah, it really is. I don't blame them.

If these were two girl students I (am not going to lie!) probably would have joined them. Between the weird weather changes, the mold, and being sick from whatever..flu, sinus infection, whatever is going around...I would love a day to just lay down on the cool tile floor and do nothing. Maybe I'll take this as a lesson for recovery from how my students spent their pre class minutes.

Oreo Fellowship

God convicted me to stay home today. I don't know why I need conviction for that (said sarcastically) but I am going to obey. My plan was to work out with Sarah, especially since I receive daily weight updates, and then go into the office early, but I am doing things a little differently.

I went to bed and woke up with a sore throat. I stayed up late, too, but for good reasons. When I woke up this morning, I estimated that I could have stayed in bed three more hours. Instead, I did my hair, played with my dog, and talked to my roommate. When I took Bear outside, I met a neighbor with two dogs who rescued his too. Man, something about having a dog really brings people together. This is important to me because both my roomie and I have a desire to minister to our neighbors and get to know them, and Bear makes it really easy to talk to people. He is so friendly and people are drawn to him. I never get those opportunities if I'm not home right? 

I was then going to organize my room, but I think that instead I'll call my mom. I'm making mac n cheese (organic shells and stuff, but still comfort food) and lentils for lunch, and taking Oreos and milk to campus today. Oreo fellowship? Yep- I'm so excited. Extra time in the office, extra time with the students, and extra time relaxing. I know that I'm supposed to do this, relax,  but I get so caught up sometimes even in really fun things. Even good stress is stress, good fun is still busy. There's so much blessing in taking time to refresh. 

Do you ever just get sick of seeing yourself, spending time with yourself, hearing yourself speak? Yeah, me too- I'm working my way out of that rut. I'm going to simply enjoy today, and see what God has to share with me.

Roaches, Bears, and Lions, and all of the blessings that come with

I'd have to say that James 1:2-4 has been on my heart a lot lately, and then it started appearing in places...prayer, Sunday school, Bible study, and I've noticed the places where God has been cultivating great things from otherwise unpleasant experiences. I'm going to tell you a story as a metaphor for what is happening in my life (inspired by another story I heard this evening), and I hope you catch on.

So, last year around this time, a roach crawled up through the drain of our bathtub and died (or so I thought) right there. My roommate at the time, who was (and still is) fearless with these things was staying with a girl she babysits for the weekend, and I pretty much needed to shower and couldn't do that with a roach in the tub. Anyway, I was hoping that when I got back someone would have somehow taken care of it. Well, when I got home, I had to deal with it because no one else did, and I really didn't want to. Worse, the roach was not really dead, it just managed to lay on its back (taking a nap??) for about 12+ hours. My other roommate gave me some tools and made me deal with it. I wasn't in any kind of place to deal with that kind of thing and I had no desire to. I looked at the experience of killing the roach as a gross one and some sort of island initiation.

A few months back, my new roommate Sarah and I moved into an apartment together. I had been praying for the entire year to have the feeling of having my own place again and I'm really pleased with the way things worked out. As a result, I have been wanting to face some challenges that I know will make me a stronger and more capable person living out here in Guam. One of the things I prayed for is to not be afraid of insects but to be able to deal with them. Well, that kind of thing seems to be a process. How do we get stronger? I believe there are two things: the Holy Spirit, and experience. I have had a few experiences with roaches and every time I have more peace about killing them and disposing of them, and the process becomes easier and more automatic. I used to never even kill anything using a shoe, and when I was in Chuuk I had to restrain myself from trying to kill innocent spiders outside in their own habitat.

At Bible study last night, we talked about David and Goliath. David said that he was prepared for Goliath from certain experiences such as going after lions and bears to rescue his sheep. When questioned/doubted,

 "David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock,  I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."" 1 Samuel 17:34-37 NIV

I doubt that David knew that these experiences would prepare him to attack a giant man in battle, but God knew all along that He was raising up a servant that would defy humanly expectations but completely glorify God in strength that was built from the heart outward. I know roaches aren't bears and lions, but to me, they are an example of what I feel like I'm up against, minimally, in an effort to serve, worship, and glorify our living God. They are filthy and every time I deal with one, I'm not really happy about it. It's not like I'm saving Christ's sheep, I'm just selfishly keeping my own space clean. David really went after what God gave him to honor and protect. Perhaps I'm honoring and protecting my place, but, seriously?

 James 1:2-4 says  ^"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." ESV

Being able to handle island issues is part of my developing character living on an island. This and other issues, such as cultural ones and daily adjustments, will be used in my life in the long run. I'm not ashamed to say I'm learning how to kill these bugs. I am disappointed that I can write a lengthy blog on a minimal experience I had with an unimportant creature when I could have been sharing the truth of God's love and things He has been doing in my life instead. Last year, I had a lot to share yet really, nothing of depth to speak of other than the ways I saw God work in my life. Knowledge and understanding Him? I'm not sure I really had that to the capacity I could have. I also didn't go above and beyond in ways that would help me grow. I was stuck on adjustment and lost focus here and there.

Now, I know what I have to do and what God has called me to do.  I'm working on knowing God. I'm memorizing scripture, learning how to study more effectively, in Bible study(ies) and praying for my future in ways I never thought of. God is giving me knowledge and tools, slowing my speaking reactions, sharpening my listening and giving me models of godly character, just to name a few. I feel convicted left and right but it's all blessing. All of it. I know that God is moving in huge ways in my life and every trial, every struggle, I feel like I have prayed for in advance. Whether it's growing in menial ways around the house to tremendous excitement for furthering God's kingdom, I see Him working and making me usable.

Looking back at last year, I'd never want to relive it, but I am so thankful for the incredible blessings and the refining that have come from my experiences. I now fully understand the savign power of the gospel, as it has save me,  and I am valuing and pursuing prayer (alone and in group) more than ever. I am thankful for the roaches, lions, bears, and giants in my own life, and that I know that God use these things to complete a good work in me (Philippians 1:6) and allow me to grow spiritually mature (James 1:4). I'm so thankful that my focus has reshifted, and that God is starting to do these things in me. I couldn't do it without Him and I wouldn't be equipped without Him. Now, I know both presence and the protection (Ephesians 6:11-20, Hebrews 4:12) in Christ and am willing...craving...to go deeper. The pain and growth are blessings, and the lessons will be used whether I realize it or not later on in my life. For that, I'm so thankful, and to quote a song I can't get out of my head, "sweetly broken."

The long, muddy road

 

When I mentioned that I was getting ready to walk down the long, muddy road, I got a lot of interesting responses. I was being literal, though- I was really preparing to walk down it, drive down it, be driven down it . . . all of the potholes, the mud, the dust, everything that comes with one of the main roads of Weno, Chuuk. 

And now, I'm back on Guam soil. For some reason, 6 days just didn't seem like enough. I got to catch up just a little with some friends who've become family, teach some courses, and just hang out with the people there. I know that God has a purpose for my trip there, and I'm still praying about what He did or is doing. For me, it was amazing to be with some people I really love and get to share what Christ has gone in my life with the students.

So, here's the brief rundown:

I spent some time with my two little sisters- Resmy (left) and Trishianne.

I got to teach a bunch of these guys and girls at Mizpah Christian High School. I was given the juniors and seniors for English, and the seniors for computer class. My 45 minutes 3x a day wasn't enough for me, I could have spent hours with them again like I got to over the summer. It was hard for me to say goodbye after the week.

 

spent time with friends, new and old, alumni, and visited with a very special friend who was there from the states (we had no idea the other was going to be there)- I don't have pictures of her, and I wish I did.

  

On my last morning there, Meyou and I went to the high school to help clean. I didn't have enough time to help how I wanted to because of my afternoon flight, but I got to try to clean the windows after organizing the computer lab with Meyou. She is a PIU alumni and recently hired secretary at Mizpah. 

  

Before I left Chuuk, I had a few more opportunities to appreciate its beauty. Here's something I took while on the plane. I look forward to seeing this coming in again some day.

 

Guess where I'm going?

 Here's me where I will be in a week.

This will be a good thing. I think I do need a break, even if I will be working. I need a break from myself...I'm starting to annoy myself...I'm with myself too much.

I'm back in Guam

and tackling a million different things! Do you get my email updates? Maybe that sums a lot of it up.